On the verge

Over the past few days — since my last post, I suppose — I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Between exchanging e-mails and playing phone tag with Adam, the body tutor, I’ve been wondering about whether I’m really ready to do something serious and sustained about my eating and exercise.

From moment to moment, I’ve changed my mind. One night, I went to sleep when he was a few minutes late calling me, consciously avoiding the day of reckoning. Then, I considered delaying my entry into the program, thinking perhaps I should put it off until after our upcoming Labor Day weekend trip. It’s like I know this might really work, and I’m afraid. Some of it is, I think, fear of failure. But I suspect there’s also a little fear of success, and change. But, I finally decided to go ahead. Why not start now?

Tomorrow is day 1. Every night I will write a feedback e-mail to Adam, telling him what I eat and how I exercise. And, in the morning, I will get feedback from him, and suggestions, and encouragment. It’s this whole accountability thing that seems like it will make the most difference for me. Anyway, I’ll shut up now because I know very well that the proof is in the sustained good habits. We’ll see.

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One Response to On the verge

  1. shauna says:

    oh pamela… best of luck mate. it never seems to feel like the right time does it, arrgh. but any steps forward are good… so good on ya for just starting :)

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