AArgh. I’ve hit a new high, as of today’s weigh-in. Not a good thing. (And, since I also need a scale to tell me what’s going on with myself, it told me I was very dehydrated.)
Anyway, this entry wasn’t meant to be about weight-related angst. It was meant to be about a concept I’ve recently become acquainted with — “time in.”
I came across this term in reading one of the voluminous parenting books that pile up by my bedside table. The idea is that, as a discipline technique, the ubiquitous “time out” should be a last resort. First, the parents should ensure they’re spending plenty of one-on-one time with the child, paying close attention, listening and employing empathy. After all, many discipline issues arise out of a child’s desperate attempt to attract a parent’s attention.
I talked to a counselor this week about the aforementioned discipline issues with the boy, and she asked me to put myself in his shoes. How would I like it, she said, if someone abruptly hauled me upstairs, laid me down on my back, and pulled down my pants to wipe my ass. Hmm… not so fun. Especially if I was in the middle of something particularly fun. Since that conversation, I’ve begun changing his diapers in the living room and the change in his attitude has been amazing. In the middle of one diaper change, I had to run upstairs to grab him a new pair of paints. When I came back, he was still lying there, legs raised, patiently awaiting my return. I’ve also begun trying to focus on playing with him, rather than trying to do other things — including watching TV — in my few hours a day with him. Of course, sometimes I have to do other things, but I’m trying to involve him however I can. Last night, he got a thrill out of pushing the food processor button to help me make pesto.
What does all this have to do with losing weight? Well… I think I need “time in” too. I need time to focus on myself, and also need quality time with my loved ones. No wonder I’m going a little nuts these days. The closest thing I get to quality time with myself is driving back and forth to work. And even then, I’m multi-tasking. Recently, I’ve been doing a bit more Web work (like changing this site), which has been fun and self-focused. But perhaps I need more meditation-like focus (walking, running, yoga?) time. How am I going to find this time? Ah, that is the challenge.
P.S. Meg has a great jumbo-sized rant on control and focus, and just being instead of striving for something else.