There I was, purring along merrily on day 2 of the "diet delivery road to redemption" and disaster struck. I was at work Friday, eating lunch a little early due to still adjusting to the smaller portion sizes (I was hungry!). And the phone rings. My cell phone. With an unfamiliar number, but one from my home area code. It was the boy’s day care. He’d fallen. And hit his head. And he was acting lethargic. Because this is a story about my diet, and not about my son’s concussion, you can probably assume that he came out of this little incident without major scarring.
The most interesting part, for me, was my reaction. I was in the middle of lunch when the phone call came, and I immediately began getting ready to go pick him up, which included scarfing down the rest of my meal. I told myself that this was because I wasn’t going to eat anything more for lunch, and so I needed to make sure I was eating my fill. But it could be that I gained some kind of primal satisfaction from the chewing, and the swallowing, so quickly, under stress. It was so bad that I called the doctor’s office with my mouth full and proceeded to try to explain the situation, my words wending their way around chunks of chicken and potato. Kind of embarrassing, but with the adrenaline pumping, I wasn’t too worried about it.
The food urges didn’t really kick in again until after I got him home, and I’d talked to the doctor (who urged me to keep an eye on him rather than take him to the hospital), and he was asleep. Then, at home, and surrounded by food (Well, it was all in the kitchen, but you get the idea.) I started to have thoughts of stuffing my face. At this point, I was beginning to get really uncomfortable with the idea that I’d left work "for nothing" and therefore wasn’t getting anything accomplished. This feeling got worse when the boy woke up, acting pretty much normally, and he refused to let me work, instead demanding all of my attention. (As usual.) I am such a workaholic, really, and I get such satisfaction out of getting things done at work, and we are a start-up so there’s plenty to do, and I’m fairly new on the job so really still proving myself. So to be "robbed" of a work day, when we’d paid for day care, and when the kid was just fine, was stressing me out.
So I started thinking. This was really the problem, after all. Emotional eating. Guilt, stress, loneliness, despair are my triggers, and no amount of diet delivery convenience can solve that for me. And eating is something that’s compatible with my workaholic tendencies, because I can eat while I work. Of course in this case, I was stuck with the kid so there was no way I was getting any work done, regardless. What did I do? I changed clothes and shoes, strapped the boy into the jog stroller, and we took off. We did around 3 miles, I think. Jogging, walking. Plenty of stopping, including a stop at the park to allow him to run around a bit. Even a stop at the store on the way back to buy milk (thank goodness for the storage in his jog stroller). I was away from work for another hour — completely away from work — but I should be able to make it up this weekend. And I got a workout in. And I didn’t eat.
What will I do when stress hits when I’m at work or in a place where I can’t just leave for a jog? Maybe just drink some tea or go for a short stroll outside? I don’t know. I’m just starting. But goodness, isn’t it exciting?
P.S. I signed up for a 5K or 2 mile run on October 29th (you didn’t have to choose at sign-up so I’m leaving my options open). Stoller-friendly. And signed up for Zipcar so I can get there even if DH has the car for soccer that day. Yay for me!