Another Saturday (WW WI day) after a not-so-great week and I’m up .4 pounds. Point-four pounds isn’t so bad, but there’s that psychological thing. It took me from 199.8 to 200.2. Bummer. The WW meeting was great. This was the second meeting I’ve gone to this week, officially, since I went the holiday Monday (since I couldn’t go last Saturday) and the difference between the two leaders — ostensibly teaching the same “lesson” — was amazing. The Saturday leader (whose name I forget) is a natural. Really, she’s making all the difference in keeping me at WW.
This week has been filled with a lot of stress. My boss is on vacation, and I’m basically in the interview process for another job. It’s a very different job than I’m doing now, so there’s some fear (DietGirl posts incredibly well on fear.) that I won’t be able to do it. There’s a lot of trepidation around the salary issue, too. I know what others are making — the range, anyway — but I’m dealing with a whole lot of self-doubt about whether I’m worth it. I am my own worst critic. Thankfully, I’ve got others around me — a good friend and my husband — cheerleading me on to a better self-image, job-wise. And, really, I’ve run the numbers and I need to make more to accommodate the requirements of the job — more travel, higher profile, etc. If I took it and didn’t make much more, I’d be losing money on the deal, which really isn’t acceptable. The key is that I need to be prepared to walk away if the salary isn’t right, and I’m getting all psychologically interested in making the change. I guess if it doesn’t work out I need to get back in the head space of doing my own, current job — or start looking for something else.
That’s been my main stressor this week, but there’s also the issue of time and sleep. It seems we are so busy that there’s no time for myself and no time to do much of anything besides maintain the job, the family, the house. Notice how I haven’t posted in this blog? Maybe things will settle now that the holidays are over and we’re back in our regular routine.
And now, some resolutions. I desperately need to motivate myself, and hopefully this will help.
- Get a new job. As mentioned above, I am feeling the need for a change. This year, make it.
- More vegetables. Now that the boy is eating solid foods, especially, it falls to me to set the food agenda in the household. I need more help from my husband, though. I think maybe I’ll start up more delivery from westsideorganics and get organic veggies/fruits in every other week.
- More water. I honestly think I could nip some of my binges in the bud if I’d continually drink more water during the day. I’m going to go get one of those Nalgene bottles or maybe a WW bottle with a straw, to help me meet this goal.
- Regular exercise. At least once a week (Saturdays) if not two. I probably need two or three to really make progress — which will motivate me to continue.
I’m starting to feel daunted by my list, so I will stop.
Ok, here’s another question that’s been on my mind. Maybe others can help me with it. Should we buy a dishwasher? At the moment, we wash everything by hand (such is the nature of our new house) and I feel like it keeps me from cooking as regularly as I should. I hesitate to dirty more dishes, and it’s common that the pots and pans I need to cook with are dirty. (It’s generally DH’s “job” to do the dishes.) Drawback is that there’s really no place to put a dishwasher at the moment. We could put a portable one in, but it would be something of an eyesore until and unless we remodel the kitchen. (Something in our long-term plan.) Am I just fixating on a “thing to buy” rationalizing that my weight loss can’t begin until I spend a bunch of money? (I tend to do this with exercise equipment. Right now I also “need” an iPod to get myself running/walking.) Or is this a justified thing that will contribute to the overall health (and financial health, since we will cook at home more) of our household? Thoughts?